Beyond the pointing finger...

These I found recently and have reminded me how we can be taken the wrong way. Our message can be lost in the perceptions of our actions.  Others can miss what we intend. Even we can be focused on the less preferred elements of our experiences and exchanges.

Here are a few posts on other blogs I have found valuable to read and contemplate over the last few days.

To put into perspective...

Over the last weeks I have wondered why I am considering working towards creating another performance at the top end of the sport. I sense the words I have recently used to be confusing. Actually to go back over the last 12months or more I have gone from never again, to maybe, to yes I am having a crack. I have gone from cycling to rowing which was obviously a change from rowing to cycling. This week I was again reminded that the challenge of getting to ride at the up coming World cycling champs in Geelong. The reminders have come a few times with call and emails after a few rider list were published. Funny how things change so this week again I was reminded of my mixed and changing mind. I have been confused which is just the reality of my situation. Confused because I have on occasions been caught in watching and buying into things less important. Yet beyond various thought and concepts has been a lasting feeling. The feeling I would like to immerse myself in is that of focus and connect. Chasing content verses living with the context and contrast which life brings has meant diffused energy.

The above post I found interesting for bring a few thing back into focus. This comes on the back of our holiday and I am going through how I maintain the refreshing sense of insight.

What does this all mean? Well I was targeting the cycling because of a new challenge but also it was a bit of an ego trip. In fact even the idea of going back to the boat has shades of ego at least during the early phases of discussion. This has changed over the last couple of months I now realise. For many months I was bluffing and trying to convince myself of something that was not true. I guess I was also trying to convince others too.

My fear has been committing because of the risks and yet my past focus when going well has been the opposite. Fear of hurting myself again like the idea of achieving gold again has been bullshit. I have been a little caught up in it like the pointing finger. I realised this not as a flash but in a progressive unfolding over a number of weeks.

So what I am saying is quiet simply I have been kidding myself. This has probably come through in some of what I written and certain with some how have wanted answers or thoughts on what I am going to do going forward.

The wisdom from long ago stand the test of time and it's aging reminder is refreshing.


Anonymous said…
Hi Drew,
Struggling to follow your thought process here.
Are you saying aiming for cycling gold at London olympics was bullshit, or going back rowing with the aim of gold is bullshit?

On a side note, your writing style has really started to come into its own.

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