Watching, Waiting, Anticipating
Also spending time updating my personal website.
Keen to do some podcasting which I guess flows on from what I have already been doing with my you tube channel.
So been a busy little thing and taking time to reflect on the season so far and what is ahead. I feel like a little kid excited but unsure as to when things will head back into that deeper state of focus required for outstanding an preparation.
All the athletes here right now are getting ready to for trials. I won't be competing and will find out soon what is ahead for me. This doesn't stop the crazy speculation going on in my mind about ways this season could unfold. Then I get into thinking about next year. I can't really believe that I am now at a stage when I am feeling good about these types of wondering thought streams. Don't worry I am still grounded or at least I have shudders of reality hit me like tremors and it comes in waves. Reality about how quickly things can change. How the spikes in stress come about when things go off the rails. With each wave of thought with it's piercing emotive triggers. It's like being outside on a hot summers night with big ass mosquito's taking their fill. Each surface slap as you attempt to avoid further bites it becomes clear that even though a summer night is magical there of those little reality bites still at play.
The thought of being at the Worlds or the Games is a wonderful magical thing, but it's never perfect and the various things which you realise and experience make you appreciate with all great things come with another side. The flip side of experience is always there. For now I imagine the future and with that experience tells me the wonder has great pain too. So while I wait I prepare for the total future ahead.