What's in a thought?
Had a thought this morning. Actually had a few, but this one stood out from the rest. It was like an annoying flashing sign. I couldn't miss it, flashing there in my mind. Flash, flash, flash, it went something like this. 'What if we don't win?'. Now it was among a whole load of other thoughts, but as I said this one was different. Not unnaturally so, it's just it had some real nuisance value. I mean it's not like I shouldn't think this way, but it caught me off guard this morning. What was I doing at the time? I was riding and it was bloody cold and raining. Not to complain, but then again I am. So to top it all off for a period of time this thought rattled around my mind. With each and every push of my legs I kept thinking why am I thinking this way? Why now? My simple answer was that when times are tough things like this sometimes pop into your thoughts. It just happens, and as the wind swept across the road I was struggling to keep the bike on track. The little battle with the wind and rain was interesting* and just like all the thoughts of success and failure they are ongoing and inevitable. Part of the test is to be able to deal with and quieten the noise. The craziness of thoughts from one end of the spectrum to the other. The chatter at times can be overwhelming and yet I rode, pushing along into the weather with rain driving into my face I almost laughed. A chuckle nearly come at of my mouth. A giggle of sorts at the absurd nature of my life. Here I was questioning myself about what it would mean if we didn't win and yet I was out riding in the most miserable of conditions preparing like that type of question is not even a consideration. Confusing as it may sound, but that is just what it was. Confusing. Why think that way? Why even consider the possibility of anything but our best. And there it is right there. The difference between our best and winning. It involves much more than thoughts, but to add expectations, desires and fears would be to being to see the whole activity from a healthier perspective. A thought is just a part of the equation. Yet at times I and many would buy in to them as all there is. On this day I thought about many things and included in this was the thought about what if we don't win. Well life goes on, but over the last three years I have worked and focused on being prepared to perform at my best when the time comes. Today while having that thought I was still out there pushing myself when much of what was around me was pointing to stop, go back inside, don't bother and stay home. Even with all this and the odd thought about not being prepared or the what if's around not achieving. I pushed on and as I started to smile I realised that this is the life I have chosen and that is a comforting thought. It even gave me a sense of warmth which I used to drive on into the storm front that was crossing the bay ahead of me on the road. What a great feeling I thought and to be fair the other thought had slipped away. You could almost say I rode away from it and left it to fend for itself.