Much of this relates to choice. Which way to go. How far to push it. When to rest. When to step up. When to hold back. To move or not. To let go or hold on. Moment to moment these arise, it is a continual flow of options.
Even last night on the ergo the choice to do one session over another. I decided to do 2 x 15min with fan setting 10 with the first being a gradual increase in pressure where I finish the last 3 min on 1.42 down to 1.38 at rate 20 by the end. The the second effort I decided to provide more structure so it was a 5/4/3/2/1 min @ 18/20/22/24/26 which turned out to be more like 18/20/23/25/30. Got to love getting excited about training. The splits started out around 1.52 then 1.46/1.41/1.38/1.30. The process of choosing was alive as many times before the ergo I was deciding what I would do and even during I was making decisions and adjusting.
This relates to most things I think and as such I have become very conscious of my decision making process of late. The other part to all this is the idea of a good and bad choice. Or good and bad options to choose between. Largely I realise that pretty much between my own judgment and the perceptions of those around me, I decide to sign off on my experiences, my choices and decisions as positive and negative, good and bad. But they are simple choices and effectively how I see them is critical. This is how I store them and recall them.
Yesterday's ergo session was easy because I chose to see it that way before and during and after. The out put and the end of the second effort I am sure related not to physiology or strength but simple to my perception and the choices I have made to get me to the 14min mark and willing to step to a level that is more like a 2000m race effort. This has been rare up until now for many reasons. The limitations I have sensed and made excuses for things like my back or lack of strength has been the strength of perception relating to the choices I make, not my just the physical situation of my back or stability.
Hope this makes sense as I have known it for many years but last night a light bulb went on. A reminder about choice and how we perceive the choices we make, or have to make.