Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Procrastinating Drama

Ahhhhhhhh, why is it a challenge to get the old body going again. Today I planned to jump on the ergo and maybe even go for a ride. What have I done? Nothing, but ponder, consider and put off. Maybe I am being a little to hard on myself. The day has not been a waste I have done much work and been to my daughters first school play. So I feel pretty good about things but have this nagging sense that I should go and do something. What am I waiting for? Who knows, maybe some inspiration, maybe a bolt from the blue or maybe I am not waiting. Rather I might be fighting off the urge to get back into things for fear of burning out. Burning out I hear myself say, what a load a rubbish. So then if I am to follow this train of thought as it runs wildly out of control. Procrastination is not a place I wish to stay for long so in a moment I will get up from the computer and jump into a rowing suit and do 30min on the ergo in our shed. It is raining out side and it will be cold in the shed until I warm up. Even now I am sort of putting it off. It's nice and warm in here, cold out there. It's comfortable in here and will be uncomfortable out there. I can relax in here and will pained out there. Here I am unchallenged, unfazed and possibly tamed, but out there I will face a challenge, become intense and will like an animal. Hunched over tearing into the bone between my hands. Clawing and breathing with a heavy, surging and pulsing state of mind. In here is nice and out there I will change. All a bit melodramatic I know but what the heck. Time to step out of my comfort zone. Because after three weeks it's about time I taste the lactate again. Nothing to savage, but I will push it to wake up my senses. See you on the other side...

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